Two Tangis, Two Funerals, SPF Presentation, and Sacrament Talks

This may be a short weekly recap, even though it was a long week. We spent Monday through Wednesday involved with two tangis and two funerals. Roberta passed away on November 6th. Since they had to wait for some out-of-town families to arrive, the tangi wasn't held until Monday.  A Māori tangi (or tangihanga) is a traditional funeral ceremony that honors the deceased and supports the grieving whānau (family). It is one of the most sacred and significant customs in Māori culture. tangi typically lasts three days or more and is traditionally held a
t a marae (tribal meeting grounds), though it can also take place at homes or funeral parlors. Roberta's was held at the home of Sister Paratene.

We spent all Monday at her house helping out with the tangi. This one was only one day and a night. The casket is open, and friends and family come to pay their last respects. Food was brought so the visitors could have some kai (food). If it is at a marae, mattresses are laid around the coffin, and the family would stay there overnight. The body is rarely left alone from the time of death until burial. None of the family were staying overnight at Leona’s. We had people coming and going all day. 

Monday evening, we had a short service of sorts, where those who were there could share their thoughts and memories of the deceased to honor them. It was special tonight for a couple of reasons. Although Roberta was a long-time member of the Ward and beloved by all, her husband never joined the Church. He supported her in everything Roberta did in the Church. If you didn’t know he wasn’t a member, you would never guess. He is a member…he just doesn’t know it yet. Anyway, after everyone who wanted to share their memories and love for Roberta, her husband spoke up to thank everyone. He knew all the people there, but he said that he never knew how much his wife meant to our Ward and to the members there. He was truly grateful for how much everyone loved his wife and him also. 

The Bishop shared a few closing remarks and mentioned how much Mike and Roberta were true friends and partners with each other in all the did. He then told Mike how much Roberta wanted to be sealed to Mike for all eternity. Mike chuckled a little and said, “give me six months.” The rest of the group said they were going to hold him to that. It was very sweet. 

We had the opportunity just a few times to visit Roberta and Mike in their home. Roberta didn’t talk much, but Mike was fun to get to know. The thing that impressed me the most was how tenderly he took care of his sweet wife. She was pretty much bedridden, and he was so sweet to her. You could feel the love between them. The Ward is going to do everything they can to continue their relationship with Mike. They all love him too!

Tracey decided to stay overnight with Leona for the night. On Tuesday morning we were up early to make broccoli salad for Roberta's funeral. Then we headed to the Chapel to get things ready. I also printed all the programs and helped in the kitchen getting the food ready. 

There was a nice turnout. Mostly family and members and friends. Of course, we had members of the Ward show up too. The service was very nice with mostly family members and a few Ward members speaking. The shared memories of their time with Roberta were very sweet. We didn’t know her when she was healthy. We learned she was a feisty little thing and knew her mind. Everyone loved her. She knew how to get things done and she did it. It sounded like she was a force for good wherever she went. 

After the funeral services, we invited everyone to share some kai (food) with the family. Most of the people stayed and visited. It was very nice. 

After everyone had eaten we packed up some food for Roberta’s husband and her two sons. There were still a few things left that we packed up for Leona. 

Leona has been taking care of Dean for over 39 years. He was severely disabled, but she cared for him all that time. He was in a care facility, but she visited him every day and would spend the night with him whenever he was in the hospital. She would take him on outings with her and her four “children” when they were growing up. They are nieces and nephews that she has raised since they were babies. She never married and did this all on her own. 

Anyway, Dean passed away on the Sunday before the tangi for Roberta. Leona was committed to helping Mike during his time of grief at the loss of Roberta. Other than us, she did not let anyone know that she too was grieving. On Tuesday and Wednesday, Dean’s body lay in state in Leona's home for friends and family to come and pay their respects. We went over after Roberta’s funeral to take the leftover food for her to have for any guests that showed up. We stayed with her for a while until her nieces and nephews showed up. They stayed with her for a couple of days. She wasn’t alone during this time of loss. She is truly a gracious lady.

Wednesday started with DCM. We were a bit chattier than usual and had a good time. We especially had a fun role play at the end of our training. After our refreshments, we headed down the street to the funeral home for Dean’s funeral. 

He had such a beautiful service. Other than Leona, her nieces and nephews, and Brother Toi, we didn’t know anyone else. There were lots of current and past care givers for Dean. Many of his family showed up as well. Leona, her nieces and nephews, and a few care givers were the speakers. They all spoke of Dean’s laughter and the love that emanated from him. They talked about the many things they learned from him as they all cared for him in their own way. The four kids grew up with Dean. He was nearly twenty when they came to live with Leona. They were ages 3, 2, 1, and newborn. The kids told beautiful memories of their times with Dean. It was so full of love and laughter. 

The care givers also spoke of their love for Dean and the privilege they had of taking
care of him over the years. They mentioned how he would sometimes start laughing, which then caused everyone around him to start laughing. Again, I could feel the love they have for Dean. A few family members got up to share their thoughts and feelings too. They mostly expressed the gratitude to Leona and her children for giving Dean the love and whanau (family) they didn’t give him when they should have. They were grateful for the wonderful life Dean had with Leona’s Whanau. 

Elder Wilcox conducted the Funeral service and gave the closing remarks. He shared a scripture about how after Dean is resurrected, his body will be whole. He will see and stand and talk. He will be perfect.  After a short slide show presentation, I gave the closing prayer.

President and Sister Allen

We headed home for our Comp Study with the Hikurangi Elders. We tend to use some of our Comp Study time to do our mission correlation meeting. We have always done that with the Hikurangi Elders. It helps us keep on top of all our new friends and new members and se
e how we can help the missionaries. 

Not long after they left, we went to the Chapel for our Book of Mormon reading. The rain was coming down pretty hard, and we didn’t think we would get a very big turnout. As it turned out, the Bishop was the only one who came besides the Elders and us. We had a wonderful time reading chapters 17 and 18 of 1 Nephi. We read and talked about Nephi building the ship and the journey to the promised land. We were all glad we ventured out to read the Book of Mormon. 

Once we were home again, we had to finish our presentation for SPF on Thursday. We managed to get the PowerPoint portion done on Monday while we were at Leona’s house, but we still needed to figure out what we were going to say and to time our presentation. We did that Wednesday night. 

I started Thursday morning with our HawkSoft Anniversary Video Call with all those who started with HawkSoft in either November or December. I started on 29 December 2008, nearly 17 years ago. It was so fun to see so many friends I have worked with over the years. A few have been there longer than me, most were shorter, but all of them have been there for a while. 

Not long after that call was our Mission SPF meeting. We gave the presentation. We talked about the lives of President Henry B. Eyring and President D. Todd Christofferson. I think it turned out pretty well. We had lots of pictures, interesting facts, and some personal stories for each of them. 

The Zone Leaders showed up shortly after that for our weekly Comp Study with them.  We had a shorter time than usual because they had another appointment. They had several things they wanted to talk about, so we didn’t do a lot of scripture study with them. The mission wants the missionaries to present a small portion of the 5th Sunday Forum on our Mission Goal. They had some links and forms they had questions about, so I was able to help them out. Also, the Hika Elders will be in Punaruku on the 5th Sunday, so it looks like we will be doing the presentation in Hikurangi. 

Sister LeBaron

Later, we worked on our talks for Sacrament Meeting on Sunday. I wrote mine in such a way that I will be able to use most of it for the talks we give when we get home. 

We thought our Friday was going to be spent entirely at home. We had
kind of a lazy morning reminiscing about the past couple of weeks and then on our entire mission. I heard another ding on my phone and thought I had better look at my messages. Normally, the morning messages are a lot of missionaries wishing happy birthday to those missionaries that are having birthdays, so I don't stop and look at each of them as they come in. Since the dings had slowed down a bit, I thought I could catch up. There was a message from a sister telling me that Deborah was trying to get a hold of us and I hadn't answered. I had to go to our New Zealand phone to see Deborah's message. The message was to pick up Deborah and take her and her belongings to a temporary campground. Just as we were almost there, she texted that she had to run an errand, so we waited for her in the lobby of the hotel she was staying at. After we dropped her off at the campground, we headed home.  

Sister Julia Jones

Once home, I worked on some ACORD forms for HawkSoft and Steve packed some more of our stuff that we will not need over the next few weeks. I think we are in pretty good shape. Most of the stuff that is left is stuff we still need to use.

We actually stayed home all-day Saturday. I enjoyed my scripture study that morning reviewing President Nelson’s conference talk called “A New Normal.” He gave that talk toward the end of the COVID 19 Pandemic. I think the quote that impressed me the most was, “We live in a glorious age, foreseen by prophets for centuries. This is the dispensation when no spiritual blessing will be withheld from the righteous.” We do have an exciting future to look forward to.

We took care of several things around the house in preparation for our move. I spent much of the day getting caught up with a bunch of certifications that Darrin gave me to do for HawkSoft. I still have probably the same amount left that I hope to take care of on Monday. 

Sister Jones and Sister Polton

Before we were done for the day, we gave each other haircuts. That should be the last one we have to give each other before we leave.

Ward Council was good Sunday morning. I gave the training on record keeping and reports. I pulled much of it from Doctrine and Covenants 128:6-8 about recording ordinances in the Temple so the dead can be judged out of the books. Those books are the records we keep on earth.

Steve and I both gave talks in Sacrament meeting. I think they turned out well. We both spoke on Christlike service and related that to our missions. And of course, we talked about our love for the members of the Hikurangi Ward and how grateful we are for being able to serve here. 

After Church, we hung around for a little while taking care of things the Bishop asked us to do. After we got home, I started working on the recap and Steve made lunch. 

We were able to relax for the afternoon before we had an inspection Zoom meeting at 7:00. 

All Our Love,

Elder and Sister Wilcox